So.  We spent the day getting ready for winter.  *dread*.   Shane cleaned and caulked the gutters and I did around the foundation and cleaned out the furnace filter.    Then we stepped back and stared at that damned garage door….my nemesis….and it was staring back.

door

Shane:  “We probably should remove that old caulk and re-do it.”

Me:  “Yeah, we probably should.  Look…there’s like… a 1/4 inch gap all the way around.”

“Yeah, I wonder how that happened”.  ( *implying it was MY fault for backing into the garage door and ripping it from it’s hinges four a couple times.  Whatever…Mr.   I’ve never backed thru a garage door*)

“Yeah, I wonder.  Smart Ass.  I’ll do it, since it ‘probably‘ was my fault.”

So he gives me the caulk and a step ladder.   And some rags.  Because I caulk like I eat chocolate….it’s all over the place.  All over my hands….all over my clothes, all over everything.  (Once I answered the door and talked to someone for 5 minutes…came in and realized there was chocolate pudding on my neck)

Me:  “Is it the kind you can clean up with soap & water?”

Shane:  “Yep!  I had no problem cleaning my hands.  (hands me a new tube of caulk and the gun)  There’s nothing left in the this tube, use a new one.”

As I was on the ladder I couldn’t help but remember all the bees that I’d recently seen up in that area and I thought,  ‘dang….I hope there’s not a nest behind here anywhere.”   (I’m deathly afraid of bees).   Well, I really am afraid of any bug.  And spider.   Even ants….potato bugs…..well….and worms too.    It’s actually amazing that I go outside really.

And then all I could think about was my bloggy friend Jennifer’s bee problem….that gave me the heebee-jeebees even more…..and then….all of a sudden…BZZZZZZ right in my face!  A frickin bee!  Scared the shit out of me and I jumped off the ladder, ran around, screaming and flailing my arms and shaking my hair…imaging a whole swarm flying out trying to sting me to death.  But it was only one bee.

My heart was racing and I needed a break.   *I’ll just wipe this crap off my fingers and get a Mike’s Hard Lemonade*  And wouldn’t ya know it?    The new tube of caulk was NOT the soap/water clean up.  So I had frickin caulk alllll over my fingers from trying to wipe it off with the stupid ass wet rag he gave me.   And it was that really tacky crap so there were little strings hanging all over the place blowin in the wind.    I had to put plastic bags on my hands to use the door knob for God’s sake.   Then, I remembered there was something that took it off….what was it now?  Mineral spirits?  gasoline?  Dang it!

I couldn’t find the mineral spirits because Shane never ever puts anything back after he uses it….and it ends up ‘only God knows where’.   So I tried gasoline.   Don’t ever use gasoline.  Ughhhh.  All it did was spread the caulk all over in an even sticky film over all my hands.   Luckily my neighbor had some kerosene or I’d have to go up to Sears.  (With a $5 bill pinned to my shirt because at this point my hands are sticking to everything.)

I SO think this job should have been done by Shane.   But that’s okay…in theory I did cause the gap….I did create the problem.  *sigh*.    I just hope that this theory holds true when it’s time to clean the toilet again.

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