Know it alls, Prozac, Ass Whoopin
filed in Raising Teenagers on Sep.03, 2009
Okay, can someone tell me WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH…..are driver’s ed in-car lessons ONLY 8 hours but the parents have to drive with the kids for 50 hours? Is this some sort of punishment from the State of Ohio? When you pay for the temporary permit, why don’t they include a 90 day supply of Prozac for the mother. Do I have to run EVERYYYYYTHING?
We set up a maneuverability course in our driveway complete with spray paint blobs to set the cones on and
long wooden poles. Middle Child (who, by the way has been blessed by God Almighty with the ability to know EVERYTHING) wanted to practice…and so we did. Over and over. And over. Every once in a while I got out and pryed another cone from under the car.
I’m not sure who’s will was stronger….her’s with her lousy attitude and smart mouth or mine for resisting that overwhelming urge to reach over and crack her a good one. As I’m giving a quick pointer she’s mimicking me and rolling her eyes like….whatever…let’s go…kinda rolling. (Lord give me strength).
“I do just fine when the instructor is in the car! Ughhhh! Stop talking. Mom? Please! Forget it! This isn’t the way my instructor taught me! I want to do it my way. Forget it….I’ll just practice with the instructor then!”
“SO LET YOUR EFFING INSTRUCTOR TEACH YOU THEN! My way works….obviously his doesn’t!”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (slams door)
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!” (slams door)
Why does it always end up in big giant shouting match? 
Now the Jonas Brothers are rupturing her ear drums and I’m blogging. Hmmmpf!
You know what? Us moms are really very tough. Look at all the crap we’re expected to deal with. The attitudes that we must restrain ourselves from. The smart ass comments and those rolling eyes. The snippy little remarks that make our hearts break and blood boil. Can you imagine how quick wars would go if we sent moms of teens over to fight? Just make sure we spend one full week with our teens IN A SMALL ROOM and then immediately send us over there decked out with big giant weapons and lots of ammo. No boot camp…just send us directly after that week. We’d kick some ass and be home to decorate for the fall holidays. Because after that week we’d all be ready to open up a MAJOR can of whoop-ass.
September 3rd, 2009 on 5:40 am
I think you’re on to something. The military could use a few good moms to kick some ass!
Aliceson´s last blog ..Wardrobe Wednesday: 1st Day of School
September 3rd, 2009 on 8:55 am
Moms do kick butt!
September 3rd, 2009 on 9:37 am
That is too funny! I am so not ready to even think about driving, but I can already relate to the eye rolls and snide remarks. And she is only 9! What’s life at 16 going to be like? The war would be over in a day if they sent me over this week. And she would still be banned from TV until December!
September 3rd, 2009 on 11:32 am
Is that really her room? Wow! Almost as bad as my kid’s was…and mine too at that age.
DaisyDeadhead´s last blog ..My sweet little Cyril (not so Wordless Wednesday)
September 3rd, 2009 on 12:41 pm
When I think back to some of the absolutely crappy stuff I said and did as a teenager, I just cringe. My poor mom. I have little doubt my daughter will pay me back in kind. Yay.
Cara´s last blog ..Croquet Anyone?
September 3rd, 2009 on 1:17 pm
“mimicking me and rolling her eyes like…whatever…” Looking forward to those days, oh yes.
She loves you crazy, feels secure enough to pitch those fits. Is she the daughter that’s most like you in personality? Not that your personality is in any way bad. Or hers. Actually your personality is great and generally kicks butt, is funny as hell and would win a war anywhere in 2 minutes with our without ammo.
They do bring out your best and your worst, kids.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Ridiculously Green — Austin’s “Ladybird Lake” Hike & Bike Trail
September 3rd, 2009 on 8:49 pm
You said it! Those eye rolls…oh man, those are the worst!
We had this little setup ourselves but we were able to practice in the exact location where he was going to be tested so he had it pretty well down by the test. Even so, I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was the first time I rode in the passenger seat with him.
But, go figure, because now he’s the safest driver in the family.
blueviolet´s last blog ..Don’t Try This at Home
September 4th, 2009 on 7:36 am
Okay, I do not want teenagers…can they skip those years?
Bonnie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
September 4th, 2009 on 8:06 am
Oh my stars……I have so been in this place!!! Now that the girls are actually driving, I pray a lot more!!
The eye rolls and screams of “Mommmmmmmmmmmm, just stop” make me want to scream louder!
Last night while out with C(her soccer practice is 50 miles south of us, so she’s not driving along) I told her she scared me how she stopped so suddenly at a yellow light, she assured me that never happens when she is at home……..ugh, sure!
Hang in there, you are not alone.
Anita´s last blog ..Book Review: The Help
September 29th, 2009 on 7:35 pm
*update* two days later you let me do it my way and I succeeded each time and shoved your yelling face in it!
SO HAHAHAH.
triumph.