Fame and Fortune Cannot Buy Self Worth.
filed in Raising Teenagers on Mar.14, 2009
A famous young starlet gets beat to a pulp, the story goes public and she GOES BACK to him? Forgives him? Oh. My God. Parents of young girls & boys need to educate their children, NOW!
And since the media is playing the Rhianna/Chris Brown saga on a daily basis, parents need to take the opportunity to imbed in their childrens’ minds (girls AND boys), that it is unacceptable and WRONG. The hitting is wrong, and more importantly, to make sure their child knows ‘their worth’. I mean for heaven’s sake, parents instill in their young children the whole ‘stranger danger thing’, and ‘about touching’, etc etc….why on Earth does that conversation end at the teen years? Why?
I’m astonished and disturbed to hear some women saying, “She must have done something to get beat, we’re not hearing the full story”, or even , “If she hit him, she should get hit back”. SAY WHAT?
How were these woman raised? What is happening in the home and in society that women feel the need to justify a brutal attack on another woman or themselves? How in the WORLD does a woman of any age think that if you hit a man, you should be prepared for what will follow? I’m not saying that a woman has the right to hit a man. But if she slapped a man across the face, and he beat her to pulp in return….that is tantamount to throwing a stone at someone and being shot 150 times in return.
I was SO disturbed when the reports first came out that Rhianna was ‘forgiving’ her attacker…that she ‘wanted to reconcil’ and ‘didn’t want him to be punished’ for nearly killing her. I sat there with my mouth hanging open. Here’s this beautiful, ‘seemingly’ intelligent young woman, who appeared to be a strong female. My kids and I watched the reconciliation story and all I could say in return was “She’ll be dead in a year. She’s going to take him back and he’ll beat her to death next time”.
Then of course we had the whole discussion about how violence is never acceptable and that the fact is, that once someone hits you they’ll keep hitting you. And that someone doesn’t generally beat someone to a pulp the first time they ‘beat someone’….that normally they ‘work their way’ to that point, over time. (That Rhianna most certainly has been hit by him in the past and did nothing about it. ~ Obviously all the money in the world can’t buy self worth!)
I’ve told my girls that if a guy laid a hand on them once, they’ll do it over and over. And no matter how much you think you love them, it’s never a healthy situation. Getting out right away is the only way to prevent a repeat in the future.
Girls/Women of the world….STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! LOVE yourself and RESPECT yourself! Mothers need to live the example to their children or their kids are gonna wind up in the same situation! And mothers need to raise their sons in the same way! I just don’t get it! Why are people so lax in raising their kids now a days? Where is the common sense of some parents these days? The line of thinking is disturbing. (In teens and adults of both sexes. )
And of course this is yet another ‘fine example’ of young stars and their whole ‘role model’ status. First off , none of these people, these singers, athletes, actors, etc should ever be role models. My Lord! But since they end up being role models in the eyes of many kids…parents must, must, must recognize when their kid idolizes someone. And when something goes awry in that ‘role models’ life…parents must step in and parent! Who on EARTH would find it acceptable for their child to have a role model that was willing to accept a beating like Rhianna did?
Okay. Off my soapbox. I feel dizzy now.











March 14th, 2009 on 7:01 am
Very good post. I agree 100%!
suchlovelyfreckles’s last blog post..2:21am
March 14th, 2009 on 7:11 am
Amen! I agree with everything you said. What is wrong with this girl? Here she is a young, beautiful, wealthy girl who could have probably whomever she wants and she forgives this low-life?!!!! Hopefully she’ll wake up. I would hope she has intelligent people around her to encourage her to dump this jerk. But, then again, in Hollywood nothing makes sense. And because he is a superstar, all is forgiven! Guarranteed if it was someone outside the circle of superstardom they’d be the first to open their mouths about how wrong it is! I think we might have another OJ in the works!
March 14th, 2009 on 8:32 am
It is a sad situation. I hate that girls are even seeing going back to your abuser as an option. You’re so right – when did pop stars become role models? What happened to people in your daily life?
Jen@OurDailyBigTop’s last blog post..The Mom Interview
March 14th, 2009 on 9:12 am
I agree, 100%. Another thing I find disturbing, is that Nickleodeon kept Chris on the list of nominations, in the Kids Choice Awards. Chris later removed himself, but I think that Nickleodeon should’ve been the one to do it!
AmyG’s last blog post..I do not want another dog, thank you!
sheila Reply:
March 14th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Oh, I agree! Great message to send to kids everywhere. Duh. Big Duh.
March 14th, 2009 on 11:38 am
It’s incredibly sad… Even sadder that this is NOT an unusual situation. Just that it’s a very public one…
Women have been abused by men for thousands of years. It has only recently been decided (in SOME regions, not worldwide) that women are actually worthy of respect. It will take time to ingrain this into every man and woman’s mindset. It takes generations to make a change as grand as this change has been. As sad as I am that it still occurs in a “civilized” country such as America, I am even more upset that this movement hasn’t taken effect worldwide. Think of the downtrodden women in Africa, Asia, and South America…
It is pathetic that a woman in our country, who has the resources right at her fingertips to not only leave that man, but also put him into prison, and be held up as a hero, would choose to go back to him.
But it is HER choice. Granted, she is in the cycle of abuse, and I know that this has a huge reason for her choice…
I truly feel sorry for those who WANT to make a change in their lives, but must give up EVERYTHING – family, language, religion – in order to leave the abuse…
tracey’s last blog post..Just a mini-bitch…
March 14th, 2009 on 12:39 pm
I just heard a recent statistic about teenage violence, and the number of girls with violent behaviors is increasing at alarming speed. Not that girls are the root of the problem but as a parent of 2 girls I am shocked that this kind of behavior is going on at all. Where are the parents, teachers, friends? I’m sure some of this is learned (not on purpose of course but learned by experience)at home in unhealthy environments. …Sad situation all the way around.
Aliceson’s last blog post..Those Crazy Kids
March 14th, 2009 on 8:31 pm
Well said. I was so disheartened when I heard that Rihanna was taking him back. If ever there was a teachable moment, this is it! Unfortunately, there are so many parents out there who are just not involved in their children’s lives and have no idea what they are doing or who they idolize. Not to mention the families that have abuse within them, reinforcing that this is normal behavior. It is sad, truly.
Cara’s last blog post..Because I Don’t Have Anything Else
March 14th, 2009 on 9:43 pm
I don’t think I’ve mentioned lately that I think I have a big old crush on you… everything you said was dead right.
Hedon’s last blog post..Log books
March 14th, 2009 on 11:08 pm
This post is so true. I hated to hear this about all this. Shiloh is still very young, of course, but I hope and pray that I’ll be able to teach her that violence is never acceptable and if someone hits you once, they will do it again. Just like you said. And I hope that I can find a way to teach her to value herself. That seems to be a big problem with girls lately. It’s such a crazy scary world out there.
jenn’s last blog post..Single Moms: part 2
March 15th, 2009 on 2:45 pm
I too agree. And hopefully as we treat our kids with love and respect they will come to always expect that and accept nothing less.
Jannie Funster’s last blog post..$69.97
March 15th, 2009 on 11:31 pm
You are so right. I don’t want my kids to not respect themselves and let anyone treat them like that!
debbie’s last blog post..The memories we take and the ones we leave