Tag Archives: college

As my daughter, my firstborn, prepares for college, I thought I’d make a list of things I’d love for her to learn while she is away.  These are all attainable and will probably be learned very quickly!

1.)  The shower doesn’t clean itself.  There’s no magic fairy that comes in and scrubs the scum or washes the hairs out of there.  Yes, you’ll have to do this yourself.   I’ll buy you your very own plunger  too!  OH!  and the bathroom garbage?  That needs to be emptied.  (Sorry, no little fairy for that either my dear)  You’ll know the exact time it needs emptying when you throw something into the can and it falls off the top and onto the floor.   It’s a bitch picking up peoples snot rags and dirty Q-Tips and bandaids and such off the floor….so you’ll probably learn to empty,   pretty quickly.

2.)  You’ll learn that while washing dishes really sucks, it even sucks more when you have to scrape leftover bits of food (i.e. cereal) stuck to the sides of the bowl.  So stuck that you have to pry it off.  You’ll learn finally to scoop the extra morsels into the garbage, before placing the used plate/bowl into the sink.

3.)  Bathroom time.  Ahhhh.  This one makes me smile.  You’ll have to learn to SHARE the bathroom.  No more hogging the mirror or staying in there putting on makeup with the door closed, with a line of people standing their holding their ‘areas’ and jumping up and down.  (SHARE:  To use jointly or in common)

4.)  Cooking.  Yes, you are capable of making misc dishes, I know.  You are actually good at that.  But you will no longer be able to come in with a whirlwind asking, “What’s for dinner?  Are you making dinner…and when…because I have to go to work!”    OH!  And you’ll have to keep your own stock of food.  It’s very hard to make a meal if you didn’t buy the ingredients.

5.)  You’ll find out that when you leave something your stuff the floor like you live in a pigsty  don’t put something away, you will only have your own set of eyes to look for it, rather than 4 other sets of eyes.   I’m guessing that once it sets in that your living room, bedroom and kitchen is all actually the SAME room, maybe you’ll be picking up your stuff!  Oh!  and if you need to drink from a glass, you’ll wish you’d have washed one of the 12 laying around looking like a science experiment is growing inside.

6.)  This one may be rough, but you may learn that if you run your mouth and treat your roommates with a bad attitude, you may just get put in your place.  Maybe physically, maybe verbally.  It may hurt, but it is a lesson you may benefit from in the long run.  Poor thing.

And yes, there are things your roommate(s) will be able to learn from you, because after all you are a great teacher! 

1.)  They will learn to do laundry!   It has been a blessing that you have done this task since you were like 10!
2.)  They will learn to be bold and speak up for what they believe in!  My very own Joan of Arc!
3.)  You’ll teach your new friends that anything is possible and hard work really does pay off! 
4.)  They will definitely learn independence.  They make pick up the idea that karma is a bitch and that you don’t appreciate fakes and liars, or people who mistreat others.  I really like that about you. 
5.)  They will learn about true friendship, as you know what friendship truly means.   That you’ll keep healthy friendships and discard the unhealthy.  Great quality, by the way. 
6.)  Finally, I hope they pick up on your infectious laugh and wonderful sense of humor.  We all need some of that.

Funny, I’m not really too worried about you going off to college.  I think you’ll learn what you need to, academically and as a person.  And I’m sure you’ll do the right things, and the wrong things…but you have a good head on your shoulders and should come out just fine.  Teach and be taught.