I think it’s kinda sad that my husband of 21 yrs has forgotten my birthday once and can’t remember something I tell him  5 minutes later….but….he remembers evvvvery lions name…every cheetah’s name….every storyline…on BIG CAT DIARY.    Same thing with Meercat Manor.

Truly……bizarre.
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You know…I have a routine that I thoroughly enjoy.   I go to bed around 10 every night.  I like to relax and watch a tv show in peace and quiet.   I like to be able to fall asleep listening to the t.v.   Shane usually goes to bed around 12.   Now….when a certain someone breaks this routine for me, it throws me completely off.   The past two nights I’ll catch him around 9:30 yawning in his recliner.   “Oh no”…I think to myself….”I hope to God he isn’t going to bed early”.   And….sure enough he does.

Now, if he just went to sleep… it wouldn’t be bad.  But he’s gotta put some stupid sports show on…and toss and turn.  COMPLETELY ruins my serenity.    Last night was especially horrible.  I don’t know what the heck this man ate but he gets all comfortable and announces….”Oh no!…I can’t stop it…Take cover!”

I gave him the death glare.  “If you are gonna fart you better just leave the room now”.

“Too late”.

If the smell could be seen it would be like that green death smoke in the movie The Ten Commandments”….slowly winding it’s way to my FACE.   I almost suffocated myself trying to cover my nose and mouth with my blankie.    Then….he starts this thing….actually, I started it months ago….I’ll whisper someones name and then pretend I didn’t.   Yeah, I know…2nd grade, but whatever.    Anyhow, at what is now 11pm I here him whisper….”Sheilaaaaa”.

“Stop it and go to sleep damnit.”

“What, I didn’t say anything.”

“Yes you did now shut the hell up and go to sleep”

((6 times later))

“STOP IT YOU JACKASS!”

“I didn’t do it!  It’s my nose making noises….I’m talking out of my nose”

“Well, I suppose that is possible.  You are, after all able to talk out of your ASSsssss.”
I then rolled over with my heavy eyelids and burnt nose hairs and said….this reminds me of sleepovers when I was a kid.  There was always that one person at 5am….when everyone else was drifting off to sleep….that couldn’t SHUT THERE TRAP.  Yep, it’s like that.

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