Alright now, I gave him fair warning!  Last time this happened, I swore I wouldn’t blog about it, but…what do you know?  It happened again, so all promises are null and void.

So I already told ya’ll that we went to a Christening yesterday.  Being of Polish ancestry, we of course, had polish food.  Kielbasi and saurkraut, cheesy potatoes, etc etc.  All those wonderfully aromatic, gas causing, poop generating foods.

So I went to sleep early last night, much like I always do.  Shane came in sometime later and as he tried to quietly crawl into bed, ripped an enormous fart that shook like a small earthquake.  I rolled over and said, ‘Ah shit, come on!’ because the last time he did this, it smelled like a deer carcus was laying outside the window.  It was definitely the smell of death.

Shane:  “I’m sooooooo sorry, I thought I got them ‘all out’ before coming in here!” (small pause and then a loud laugh) “ahhhh no!  Get under your blanket!”
(more laughter) “Oh my God, the air between my butt cheek and my underwear is actually hot!”

Me:  (the putrid aroma made it’s way to my nose like death gas in a bad movie) “Ahhh shit, are you frickin kidding me?” (choke, gasp…blanket gets pulled over tight around nose!) “Why the hell didn’t you do that BEFORE coming in here?  That’s rude!”

Shane:  “Hey!  It was your family’s fault!  They made all that food” (laughing hystically under his blanket now, because the smell is making him sick, yet fanning the other end of blanket to get the stench out.)

So the room stank for about an hour and I almost suffocated myself with my blanket.  My God, why does it taste so good going IN and smell so horrible on it’s way out?  Thankfully, no paint peeled off the wall…I checked this morning in the daylight.           Sorry, Shane, I warned ya!

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