Now that I’m, well, older…and past my own personal child bearing years…I’m wondering why I need to keep my reproducing parts.  I wish it were a choice (and believe me it’s not, I’ve already asked) to have those parts which are basically collecting dust, removed.  I’m not using them, why keep them?

Why should I have to greet my monthly friend when there’s no point for the visit?  I didn’t ask her to show up and certainly not to stay the week.  What a downer she is!  Always hangin around and causing me stress.

Gosh, look at all the crap your body goes through when you have babies!  You swell up with so much water that when you press on your skin it turns yellowish….your ankles are three times the normal size…..and then we’re expected to force something the size of a rabbit, out of something the size of a toilet paper tube.

Or you get sliced and diced like a a tomato with a ginsu knife.  And your other organs get all squished into places they’ve never traveled too before. 

I had my last child 14 years ago.  I gained 75 lbs during that 9 months!  That’s a lot on a 5’2″ frame.    I’ve lost all but 10 lbs of it.  And it’s here to stay…in fact, I think it’s trying to get it’s other ‘pound friends’ back. 
 
I’m pretty sure I got my second chin from my last pregnancy.  You would think that after all THAT there would be some type of contingency plan for the uterus.  Maybe uterus donation.  There are so many women that could use a good uterus, and here I am….not using mine!  Isn’t there like a Salvation Uterus?  An Easter Uterus?  Like, they’d call and say ‘Do you have any uterus to donate this week?  Just leave it in a bag on the front porch’

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