Ma Vie Folle

So.  It’s been almost a year since I bought the treadmill.   Therefore, it’s been about a year since I’ve actually used the treadmill.  But I’ve noticed that ever since I hit 45, my metabolism is no longer all spry and well, or working properly.  I think I’m turning 47 this year, and my thighs have finally met each other – literally – since the last time I was pregnant… which was 16 years ago.  *sigh*

Oh, they’ve become fast friends, I tell ya.  They like to sit together everywhere we go… I catch them touching all the time… and they even snuggle at night.  I really don’t dig the feeling I have when my thighs touch.  Never did.  Up until just a couple years ago I never had that problem.  I could eat what I wanted and not do any special exercising and I never got any bigger.  My metabolism was heaven sent.  Now gravity is setting in and I know I have to get off my ass and actually exercise.

So I got on the treadmill this afternoon.  Yup, right out of the blue.  Actually… I intended to start this in the beginning of February, and here it is now the 9th and I’m just starting.  So I got on the treadmill and I think I heard it laugh.  Maybe because I couldn’t for the life of me find the switch to turn it on.  Funny, since I assembled the damn thing…and I still was on a hunt for the switch.

I started at 2.2 mph which is really slow.  If I were in a car, I’d cause an accident or get a ticket.  Little children on trikes would be flying past me.  I fluctuated between 2.2 and 2.5 mph for about 15 minutes, then I got brave… I remember that I had to actually break out in a run (last year) around 3.5-4 mph so I tried to stay at a pace no higher than 3.0… as to not discourage myself.. or like…have a cardiac arrest.  But then it happened… I was approaching the ONE MILE mark!  I decided to throw caution to the wind with one tenth of one mile left and got that sucker up to 3.5.  I didn’t even make it the whole tenth of a mile, my legs felt like they would shake off.   I ended up finishing at 3 mph with rubbery legs.  But it felt good.  I just hope I have the fortitude to stick it out and get on that beast every day.

It dawned on me yesterday night that I had just eaten the last of the cashews that I had in the house…. and… we are in the path of that mondo storm that stretches across the country.    Ughhh.   If it’s as bad as they predict, they’ll be telling us to not venture out, unless we “have too”.   And I generally listen to them, except for that one year when we had a foot of snow and the power was out and I had to run around to a neighboring city to find hot coffee.  By the time I got home it was cold and of course the microwave didn’t work – the power was out!  Goodtimes

But I woke up this morning at 5:20am and looked outside.  Only about 4 inches.  Which is like a dusting to the southern States.  Not too bad!  Then I turn on the tv and all the schools are CLOSED.  What?  Yep.   Nothin like waking up at 5:20 and finding out you really didn’t have to.  But now I’m up, watching my neighbors dig out their driveways to get out, sliding all over.  And it dawns on me… potato chips. My next favorite snack of the week.  I go to the cupboard and check.  Shit!  Only a half a bag!  Maybe less if you count the air in it!  There’s no way that a half bag of chips is going to last two days in a house of 5, and I don’t feel like venturing out in this mess for stinkin chips.  I’m screwed. I’ll be stuck munching on some lame, stupid snack – like an apple.  Mmmmmm yum.

But wait!  The kids are home!  They love adventure!  They can walk up to the corner store (you know the kind, where everything is 3x as much as the normal store) and get chips!  It’ll be like Laura Ingalls Wilder walking into town to fetch Ma some milk.  Kids are great.