Okay, so this year is our turn to host Christmas Eve dinner for Shane’s side of the family. Approximately 24 people will be here in our little ranch. Not a 100,000 acre ranch like the Ewings had on Dallas……….
Just a lil ol ranch that holds our family of 5 plus two large dogs very nicely. A ranch, ranch. Although compared to a few family members we’re probably more like the Clampett’s…before they moved to Beverly. (Hills, that is)
After weeks of cleaning everything from the basement to the ceilings and ridding ourselves of much clutter, I’ve decided that if we ever do move….it’s gonna be after it’s our turn for Christmas because that’s definitely when it’s the most appealing. While cleaning the basement, I even found a gift from LAST Christmas that I thought I lost. (and Jimmy Hoffa, but we’re not talking about that out loud.)
Shane’s family likes dogs. Some like ours…some like….little dogs. You know, the kind that resemble guinea pigs? Like… if you were walking one…a hawk could swoop down…and you probably wouldn’t even feel a tug on the leash.
So we keep our dogs in the garage until every one’s done eating. I mean, seriously, no one wants our dogs slobbering on their Manolo Blahniks. Then we let them in to hestitating eyes, people suddenly stiffening and grabbing their purses glasses off end tables. It’s big fun.
This year it might even be BIGGER fun…the Saint is in heat. And the retriever (a boy) is NOT fixed. Which means they come as a package. The retriever follows directly behind the Saint and will not let her out of his sights. And, as you can see…the boy dog is NOT the brightest bulb in the bunch.
Ahhh yes. Big BIG fun.
So I’ve put everything into a nice little Christmas Carole parody for you!
Ok…ready? Sing to the tune of The 12 Days Of Christmas …and……..go!
In prepar-ing for Christ-mas
oh this is what I’ve done…
Washed all the wallssssss
Cleaned all the car-pets
Dusted nooks and crannies
Cleaned all the cur-tains
Annnnd the Sainttttt Bernards in heattttt.
I’m afraaaaid of your dog
Boy…it’s very hot in here
There’s not muchhhh rooooom.
The dog slobbered onnnnnnn
My shoe *hold note*
Stuffed pepper fixin’s…
9 lbs kielbasi
Fixins for cheese-cake……
pump-pum-kin pies
lots of yummy dum-plings
and one large cooked haaaaammmmmm
Achoo…I’m “aller-gic“
too-ooo your dogs….
Can you putttt them back outttt side????
*Okay….so maybe my version has a few extra stanza’s, but after a few glasses bottle of wine…who’s gonna notice?
To all my readers, have a Merry Christmas…if you don’t celebrate Christmas…have a beautiful day!
I'm Sheila. In addition to raising 1 husband and 3 teens, I've founded 
being with family is the best. happy holiday to you. : ) xo
.-= savvygal´s last blog ..Brunch at Break of Dawn =-.
Merry merry Christmas! Too funny! That should be an “interesting” gathering. Have fun!
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Life is Therapy–Videos =-.
Sounds like fun to me. Merry Christmas Sheila!!!
.-= jen@OurDailyBigTop´s last blog ..10 Happy Things… =-.
lol…love the song. sounds like you are going o have lots of fun. smiles. hope you have incredible holidays!
.-= brian miller´s last blog ..by the snowballs =-.
Ha Ha ha, sounds like the perfect family christmas. I am also hosting my in-laws christmas at my house this year (first time ever). So I know the clean every thing, eliminate clutter, etc etc.
Loved your song!
.-= Jenna @ Newlyweds´s last blog ..Terrible two’s =-.
what a funny song. oh the dogs is crazy for sure.
have a great holiday.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Cookie Time… =-.
OMGoodness this is so funny! I LOVE the song and I did sing along as I read it — you’re good. Hehe it IS so funny how people act around dogs who are not used to them…it bugs them out – LOL. Oh we’ll have the kielbasa rollin’ over here too! Merry Christmas – and thanks for the laugh
HAhaha! Thank you for that! I am so glad I put you on my “bloggy friend” list, I get all of these zany posts!
.-= Alissa Collins´s last blog ..Tipsy Tuesday – Disneyland isn’t for sissies… or those who suffer from claustrophobia =-.
Lol, you are such a nut! Sounds like a typical family gathering. Lots of personalities and never a dull moment. I love having family around for the holidays, but like my grandfather used to say….”what do fish and relatives have in common?…They both start to stink after a few days in your house.”
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
.-= Serendipity is Sweet´s last blog ..How Candy Canes Are Made =-.
Oh that was so funny! I felt the same way this weekend. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Today I just want to be lazy. This was so funny!!
.-= Annie´s last blog ..The Best of Mama Dweeb 2009 =-.
Have SO much fun hosting everyone. And have a wonderful Christmas.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog ..Ho Ho Whoa…WTF did she just say? =-.
Is that doggy 69?? Maybe he’s a trailblazer in the animal sex department.
Merry Christmas!! Here’s hoping things go as smoothly and stress-free as humanly possible.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Sleepnanigans =-.
Okay, love …
love…
LOVE the post!
I actually went to Southfork ranch..
Not as big as it seemed, made me kinda sad! But, it was still an AWESOME trip
.-= noelle´s last blog ..Over the weekend… =-.
I am following you now!
.-= noelle´s last blog ..Over the weekend… =-.
You are such a hoot!
I wish I could come over to your place for Christmas
.-= Momisodes´s last blog ..I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump. =-.
Sheila, you are too funny! We’re having Christmas Eve here too with 16 people in our little house.
It’s pretty much routine that we keep our dogs in the heated shed during our party. Seriously, there is absolutely NO ROOM for 2 big dogs with that many people PLUS food PLUS kids PLUS toys and gifts EVERYWHERE. My big Saint, Oliver has an obsession with toys. Balls, stuffed animals, whatever he can get his his enormous paws on. Recently he stole Binny’s stuffed animal that my Dad gave her and took a nap with it in his mouth. Oooh, was she pissed!
.-= Aliceson´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.
musical and marvelous, what a cool treat.
Love the song!
You probably will never need to get your boy dog fixed if he is going to @!#! the nostrils of the girl dog!! hahaha!
Don’t you hate having company? I do!
.-= Otin´s last blog ..The Claustinos (An Otie Christmas Tale!!!!!) =-.
Sounds like an interesting Christmas. Hope you get all your work done. I love your Christmas Carol.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas
LOL! I’m so surprised your song did not spread like wildfire!