I’m going to knot my husband in his big ole effing head.    The other day I went to the mailbox and there was a small package in there.  Hmmmm, I know I DIDN’T order anything.  Considering money is so tight, I in fact, know I didn’t order anything.  Ahhhh, it’s addressed to Shane.  Damnit!  He answered the phone again!  OR he was watching infomercials.  Two things he is totally banned from doing til death do us part.

First it was the fabulous set of golf clubs on a 30 day trial.  If you don’t like them…send them back and keep the putter for FREE and pay nothing!  (that one cost us $475.  story here)  How about the omelet maker for the microwave?  The Shark Scissors?  Or the myriad of worthless shit we have in a box?  You should see his eyes light up when an infomercial comes on.   Like a boy seeing his first boob.   Staring intently…mentally reaching out to touch it.   Beads of sweat on the forehead.  Heart racing.

So what praytell is in this envelope?  Hmmmm.  Smoke Assist.  $69.99 + $9.99 shipping.  BUT WAIT! The $69.99 will be refunded if you cancel in 30 days!  But wait…there’s MORE…as I found out in the NEXT days mail.  He’s signed up for shopping coupons $14.95/month…..OH! BUT WAIT! A Travel and Leisure plan….you know…because we have so much frickin money coming out of our asses that we’re gonna travel somewhere outside the 65 mile radius we’ve been confined to for 3 years….ANOTHER $14.95 a month.  WTF.

When confronted with this I was told ‘it’s okay…we can cancel it and not get charged’.    What planet is this dude from.  Does he know how many calls it just may take to actually get it cancelled?  So.  Tomorrow he’s going to have to swallow his pride and get on the phone to deal with all these wonderfulicious, can’t pass up a scam crap that is now charged on his credit card.   I refuse to clean up the mess this time.  No more calls to cancel.  No more arguing with the credit card company to dispute the charges when the company fails to take them off the first time.    Hopefully this will be the end.  (I’m letting him keep the Smoke Assist til the 30 day trial is up just to see if it actually DOES work.)