Did you ever sit and really watch those commercials for drugs?   The companies are all like, “Ask your doctor about….blah blah whatever drug… today!”    All excited like….as if you didn’t hear all the horrible side effects they just rambled through in a heartbeat.

Now, we’ve all seen the two old people in the bathtubs on the beach.  That commercial is for CIALIS.

It helps men ‘perform’.  I’ll be clean here, as my kids may read this.  *ahem*

Now.  I realize this is a problem with some men and I feel for them.   But….here’s a drug to ‘boost’ their ‘ability’.  And here’s some side effects (from their website)….

*headache, indigestion, back pain, muscle aches, flushing and stuffy/runny nose.

Now?  Uh, are they actually going to be in the mood with all this?  I can see it now….Honey I can’t…I have a headache! (Wait!  that’s MY line!)   And how attractive can a man be while burping, holding his back and dripping mucus all over the place.

‘uncommon’ side effects include:

*An erection that lasts more than 4 hours.  WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS? Does this mean he goes into work in the morning and suddenly there’s an extra coat rack in the office?  Holy crap!

*Color vision changes such as seeing a blue tinge to everything.  (I’ve heard of seeing the world through rose colored glasses….but blue?   How will they dress themselves?   They’d leave the house all mismatched.  A mismatched coat rack.)

*You can also have sudden hearing loss or loss of vision!  HUH?  It’s frickin bad enough they can’t hear us anyways!  Take out the garbage….”What?…huh?”   And sudden vision loss?   (which MAY come in handy….they won’t be able to see people pointing and snickering at the new coat rack!)   And how are they going to help with chores?  OMG.  A man SOOOOOO invented this drug.

And how is he going to help move those bathtubs off the beach? He has a sore back AND he can’t frickin see!    And even if he could help…there’s ‘a little something’ in the way!        Now YOU’LL have to do all the work!

Another commercial I always see is for ABILIFY.

People take this for DEPRESSION.         *(Keep that in mind)

Here’s the side effects:

*May increase suicidal thoughts or behaviors in some children, teenagers, and young adults.   SAY WHAT?

*ADULTS: Nausea, vomiting, constipation, headache, dizziness, an inner sense of restlessness or need to move (akathisia), anxiety, insomnia, and restlessness
*PEDIATRIC PATIENTS (10 to 17 years):  uncontrolled movement disorders or muscle disturbances such as restlessness, tremors and muscle stiffness, headache, sleepiness, and nausea

Call me crazy….but if I’m depressed, I would not also want to be sick, not be able to sleep, dizzy, restless or have uncontrolled movements.  That’s even more depressing!

*Increased risk of stroke in elderly people.    (How depressing is having a stroke for God’s sake?)

*Very high fever, rigid muscles, shaking, confusion, sweating, or increased heart rate and blood pressure.
(well, I don’t feel depressed anymore, but boy I’m so confused, sweating like a pig, my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest and I’m walking around unable to bend my arms and legs.  But life is great!)

Elderly people with psychosis related to dementia , treated with antipsychotic medicines including ABILIFY, are at an increased risk of death compared to placebo.

Uhhhhh, so a placebo is like a sugar/nothing in it pill.  So…why not just say, they are at more of an increased risk of death then those who take nothing?